May 14

And here I sit in Benito Juarez International Airport the day I go home. It’s really funny that this is actually why I’m here, to go home. Almost unbelievable in some ways. Some of the guys and I were joking in the camioneta on the way to the airport (just an hour or so ago!) about how this was going to be one of the easiest trips we’ve ever done here. After overnight buses, hostel beds, and riding in the backs of pickups, a four hour plush plane ride which will probably include a movie seems like taking a bus just over to the next town. It’s the same as a bus ride to Oaxaca only without the mountain passes (probably still with the ear-popping).

Last night we arrived in Mexico City quite a groupful to the hostel’s eyes: seven people all with multiple bags. I had the fewest out of everyone and still felt like I was being an overly American tourist, speaking in English with my friends and walking with a suitcase to, in their eyes, only stay one night. After dropping off our belongings we walked over to the zocalo, had what were probably our last tortas in a while, and saw a bit of the city at night. After Laura finished her last essay for class and e-mailed it to her professor  we walked her and Wayne out to the taxi and said our goodbyes (which Laura refused to accept as actual goodbyes because she’s coming to Valpo to see us at the end of July on her way to Austria for another semester abroad).

I had a little bit of trouble sleeping last night, the first time I’ve really had that problem on this trip. There have been nights where I don’t wake up feeling very rested even though I’ve slept for quite a few hours, but last night I woke up after only a few hours and couldn’t go back to sleep. I lay there in the dark for quite a while thinking of all the people and loved ones i was about to see, the fact that that time was actually almost here. Yesterday on the bus ride to Mexico City I got into a traveling mindset, excited and wondering what we were going to see in the city. I sat for most of the ride next to a little baby, so young I haven’t seen one that young in a while and for some reason it made me think of going to a new place. But last night it came back to me that the place I was actually headed next was home. The thought went through my mind that the first few days back might feel a bit like the inverse of when Ellen visited me, her leading me through familiar places made new to me all over again. That will wear off and home will become home again, but the first few days may feel a little strange.

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Today is July 11 and needless to say it’s been quite a while since my last post. Today is the day I was able to open my journal again and read through what I’d been writing in the airport nearly two months ago. It’s no entirely clear exactly what it was that kept me from finishing those thoughts, kept me from flipping through pages and looking through old pictures again. The first day I was home I showed them to my family come to visit me, bu haven’t looked at them since. I’ve been through the stages of learning and relearning different yet oddly similar to what I went through in Mexico although a little more quickly. I feel like I’m here now writing with this fluid pen again because I’m home to myself in the way I spoke of just a few journal pages ahead of this. I’ve had to become a member of this community of friends and family again and that’s brought me back to myself in a way as well.

I am back with Ellen, a quite unbelievable woman and yet someone that I still do not entirely understand and I love that and how we will continue to get to know each other and know each other. I like that at this point in my life I can realize to a fuller extent how I don’t know the people around me completely and the anticipation I have for the love-filled conversations which will lend themselves to that knowing all of us continue in everyday.

My friend Megan is about to leave for Montana and begin some new journals herself, I’m sure. My friend Jake is an amazingly compassionate artist. My friend Dillon is that as well, more than I think he realizes. My friend Emily is back from France now and simply being in the same country as her and them all again brings you back a little more to your own perspective.

Emily put it one way the other day when she commented on how good it is to be back in such a loving group of people again and I can’t agree more.

And that’s probably enough for now. The summer sun is shining and I’m at home with friends again.

I packed yesterday. Tonight I think the whole group is going out for dinner together. Tomorrow we head to Mexico City for 24 hours and then Saturday I’m back home. And so this morning when I woke up I went on a walk through the city, just me and my camera, and took some pictures while looking around at Cholula for the last time like that. Going home seems so close that it’s a little hard to believe that it actually is that close.